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Why Can't We Have Nice Things?

Black Women in Luxury.

One of my favourite things in life is seeing black women in luxury, and one of my favourites to do it is makeup guru Jackie Aina. It just makes my heart go pitta patter seeing her live her life to the fullest and looking so good doing it, I know you're probably wondering “Where is this topic going”?

Why is wanting the nicest things in life up for discussion? Why is wanting to look and feel amazing causing people to get up in arms?

I guess when you've been put in the position of being the ride-or-die, the person that will hold their partner down no matter what. There will be a time, it could be many years later or changed circumstances and men come to the realization, 'She's been there with me through it all, maybe I should finally do right by her'. TRASH!

Also, with black women being placed at the bottom of an imaginary yet somehow real social ladder and still being everyone's cheerleader, whenever we say we want everything life has to offer other than the bare minimum, men become hostile. When we say we want a love that doesn't require suffering or a luxurious lifestyle (materialist or not) you say we want too much and are gold diggers. Due to my parents being hard workers, I've never had to suffer financially a day in my life, and you want me to suffer in a relationship? For a man?

Firstly, do you even have the gold that requires me to dig?

Secondly, how is wanting the very best in all areas of life a bad thing?

There are women of other races who spend their youth purposefully seeking out the rich to wine and dine them (goals). However, no one says sh*t about that, but black women across the diaspora should be happy with the basics and feel grateful.

Of all the greatness that social media has given us, one of the biggest downfalls is that it gives people the platform to voice their opinions. The most common response to black women displaying their luxurious fashion hauls or travel vlogs is “How did you pay for that”? Or “Who is she sleeping with to be able to get that”?

Sadly, all these comments come out of the mouths of black men and frankly, there's something insidious when black men specifically criticize black women for wanting the very best. Is it because you cannot give it to us, so you're projecting your insufficient ability to provide? It's been proven that black women, no matter the location, outearns their male counterparts. It's giving if I can't give it to you, you don't deserve it. Repulsive.

I am not the quintessential strong black woman. I am not a warrior and this is not Wakanda. Furthermore, I won't be strong at all times. Please, if you're a black woman reading this, at every chance given, be weak. This ridiculously outdated trope has minimised us, it doesn't allow us to be cared for or concerned for as humans, which is not only nonsense. It is unfair. This mentality goes along with the trope of us being nothing more than the backbone of our community, with no rewards. There have been articles and data presented that they're always on the front line for everyone's oppression with not even a thank you.

 I'm sorry that's not my ministry, it's not an everyday struggle. I've always wanted a certain type of lifestyle. Yes, it is to be wealthy in a capitalist way, but I want wealth in; health, happiness, and love. I believe we deserve that, and if it doesn't come from our community, step away and create a new one that will grant you safety and happiness. 

 I cannot and will not be burning myself alight to keep men warm.

20 views4 comments


Love this! Keep em coming, your writing is so captivating ❤

Replying to

Thank you 😊💜


Kay France
Kay France
Jun 02, 2021

You have a gift for writing girl xxx

Replying to

Thank you Kay 💜

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