To kid or not to kid?

To kid or not to kid? That is the question many women are contemplating today. 

When it comes to women deciding what to do with their bodies, why do people get so enraged?

When I was younger, I watched 'Cheaper by the Dozen', a film about two single parents getting together and blending their 12 kids. Since then, I've loved the thought of having a big family under one roof. As life continued, I witnessed what it takes for a woman to be a present, active and effective mother, and it was then that I proclaimed that if I were ever to be a parent, I would be a father.

When I informed the adults in my life of my decision, they found it cute and comical. Everyone but my mother thought I was being my general contrarian self because I've always hated doing what was expected of me. For example, when I was 14, because I was very tall (5''10), everyone wanted me to play basketball or netball, but I chose cricket. Why? It was something that had nothing to do with my height. 

By observing the people in my life, I have seen that it is a full-time job to be a present and loving mother; you are constantly working, even if you have a partner, you will often bear the brunt of the responsibility.

With the realisation of the never-ending hard work and the constant need for my attention, I knew motherhood would be something I'd have to be greatly convinced into doing. As someone who's been through therapy, I don't want to be the reason my child is in therapy, hence my hesitation.

As a woman, and the only biological child of my father, there's always been pressure to have children, to 'leave a legacy' so to speak. I hate the thought of having children to continue a man's bloodline. With whose womb? Are we royal? Is this the Game of Thrones? I also hate that people cannot distinguish between legacy and lineage.

In society, a woman's primary role is to have children, no matter what, even if they cannot provide for them mentally, physically, financially, or emotionally. To make matters worse, black women are at a higher risk of dying during childbirth due to medical racism. I am at risk of dying due to a parasite. Before you get offended, please Google the definition of a parasite, that is a fetus.

Once the child is here, if you do not have a village with financial backing, your only resort is assistance from the government, which is doing everything in its power to take away your rights, livelihood and access to better living. Looking at you, America.

Now, I love people (I don't), but I will always love and put myself first, and when I have explained that to others, they deemed it selfish. Is that wrong? Why is being selfish a bad thing? Are we not advised to wear our oxygen masks before we tend to others? Have you seen the world? Why are we bringing innocent beings into this hellhole?

Let me finish with this: make choices that are best for you and align with what you can offer. Do not let the world pressure you into doing anything because, in the end, you have to live with the consequences.